I am about to become an instant prude—a totally uncool, narrow-minded, old-fashioned biddy. It’s been nice knowing you.
The fast-approaching hot weather compels me to finally say what I’ve always kept in the confines of my home and discussed with only my husband. To be blunt, I hate immodesty.
Oh brother, I hear you groan. She’s one of those.
Actually, I’m one of many who are hesitant to voice what we wives have been thinking and feeling about the issue. And that is this: Please cover your cleavage, loosen your shirts, lengthen your shorts, and say no to “crack.”
I know you’ve heard and been turned off by pleas like this before, but perhaps no one has ever explained why it is and should be an issue—especially for Christian women in the church. Simply put, our men—our husbands, sons, worship leaders, pastors, elders, nephews and brothers—are human. It’s not that they are perverts and need to redirect their eyes. And it’s not that we wives are insanely jealous and insecure about our own bodies. The fact of the matter is, normal--even Christian--men are visual. God made them that way. And he gave them wives to look at half naked--not you.
When my husband and I are in Christian circles, he's been known to mutter about scantily clad women, “Put on some clothes.” He’s speaking for all the guys. It’s hard enough when they’re out there during the week, constantly fighting the temptation to “look.” Church should be a safe haven for them. Women should respect their brothers in Christ in the way they dress. And they should respect their friends’ marriages. If you think my husband has “a problem,” read For Women Only, by Shauntie Feldhan. You might be surprised at how men are wired.
Yes, there are those men who do have a particularly serious problem in this area. Put yourself in the place of their wives. You come into church hoping your husband finds deliverance from his addiction to porn. Instead, there’s one more hindrance in the row in front of you—the lady who doesn’t respect you enough to dress decently. She worships God impressively, while she makes her brother stumble.
It never ceases to amaze and sadden me that, while we'd never think of offering a beer to a recovering alcoholic, we don't think twice about tempting men with something infinitely more difficult to resist--a glance at our boobs, butt, thighs and belly.
On behalf of all of my brothers in Christ, let’s dress to help—not hinder them. I’ve been guilty too. I hate throwing out that cute red halter top. But I’ve got a responsibility to our men—and to please God.
You can be sure I'll take a lot of flack for this post--from Christians.
Oh, and check out what the guys have to say at http://www.crosswalk.com/11537027/page2/.
( For those freedom-flaunting individuals who embrace an "all-that-matters-is-love" philosophy, I challenge you with this: Look your best friend in the eye and tell her you're playing by the Golden Rule when you knowingly lure her husbands eyes to your skimpy-clothed body. I dare ya.)
The fast-approaching hot weather compels me to finally say what I’ve always kept in the confines of my home and discussed with only my husband. To be blunt, I hate immodesty.
Oh brother, I hear you groan. She’s one of those.
Actually, I’m one of many who are hesitant to voice what we wives have been thinking and feeling about the issue. And that is this: Please cover your cleavage, loosen your shirts, lengthen your shorts, and say no to “crack.”
I know you’ve heard and been turned off by pleas like this before, but perhaps no one has ever explained why it is and should be an issue—especially for Christian women in the church. Simply put, our men—our husbands, sons, worship leaders, pastors, elders, nephews and brothers—are human. It’s not that they are perverts and need to redirect their eyes. And it’s not that we wives are insanely jealous and insecure about our own bodies. The fact of the matter is, normal--even Christian--men are visual. God made them that way. And he gave them wives to look at half naked--not you.
When my husband and I are in Christian circles, he's been known to mutter about scantily clad women, “Put on some clothes.” He’s speaking for all the guys. It’s hard enough when they’re out there during the week, constantly fighting the temptation to “look.” Church should be a safe haven for them. Women should respect their brothers in Christ in the way they dress. And they should respect their friends’ marriages. If you think my husband has “a problem,” read For Women Only, by Shauntie Feldhan. You might be surprised at how men are wired.
Yes, there are those men who do have a particularly serious problem in this area. Put yourself in the place of their wives. You come into church hoping your husband finds deliverance from his addiction to porn. Instead, there’s one more hindrance in the row in front of you—the lady who doesn’t respect you enough to dress decently. She worships God impressively, while she makes her brother stumble.
It never ceases to amaze and sadden me that, while we'd never think of offering a beer to a recovering alcoholic, we don't think twice about tempting men with something infinitely more difficult to resist--a glance at our boobs, butt, thighs and belly.
On behalf of all of my brothers in Christ, let’s dress to help—not hinder them. I’ve been guilty too. I hate throwing out that cute red halter top. But I’ve got a responsibility to our men—and to please God.
You can be sure I'll take a lot of flack for this post--from Christians.
Oh, and check out what the guys have to say at http://www.crosswalk.com/11537027/page2/.
( For those freedom-flaunting individuals who embrace an "all-that-matters-is-love" philosophy, I challenge you with this: Look your best friend in the eye and tell her you're playing by the Golden Rule when you knowingly lure her husbands eyes to your skimpy-clothed body. I dare ya.)
2 comments:
This was a great article. I am a 22 year old male and lust is the 2nd greatest obstacle to my faith. Lust may often be seen as a hindrance of purity and just another one of those common sins that we will never conquer until the end. For myself, this could be far from the truth. I do not fully understand the complexities of lust but I do recognize that its power over me at times far exceeds that of any other sin, also exceeding the depth that any sin should be allowed to cross. Lust stirs up a deep rooted desire in my consciousness for a true love centered on God and all that is right and pure. Although this desire is legitimate and healthy on its own accord, when mixed with lust the healthy desire is devastatingly altered. It produces a desire that often outflanks and overruns my desire to find and be closer with the Creator. It is like quicksand. Every time the lust hits it gets worse and worse. Not only does it produce the biological reaction that leads to sin but it also triggers my disappointment with the single life. It causes me to think that the problem stems from God’s neglecting of my need for a wife. It causes me to doubt myself and doubt my own principals. It creates reliance on biology and not on the Creator of that system. It turns my head to the flesh and away from the Spirit. It causes me to, most likely, doubt God. There is so much more to lust than meets the eye and I am sure that this must be one of the top obstacles for many, even most, Christian men. (and all men for that matter) I think your sincere love and ability to recognize how fragile and relevant this topic is to your brothers was very cognizant of a genuine problem for males in society. I encounter this problem everyday and everywhere; at school, the gym, the grocery store, the coffee shops, restaurants, bars, parks, work, and yes even church. (And perhaps most often here for as a single Christian male you must note that we DO desire a true and pure love- that of a genuine Christian woman) Church may be possibly the worst place to have to deal with this temptation! We come to seek God and find ourselves encountering our archenemies! This is a very important topic and I am glad you recognize it. I could say much more but I did not even plan on writing tonight. Cheers. oh and to satisfy any reader’s curiosity; my 1st greatest obstacle to faith is perhaps myself but is at the time unknown. I am a struggling Christian and just graduating from a 4 year university with honors. This is 4 years of anti religious sentiment and anti religious modes of thinking. It’s tough and weather it be that or a cause unknown my faith is in a delicate place! Anyways thanks again!
Jason, thank you for your heartfelt words and for speaking on behalf of your brothers. I pray for you, that God will continue to draw you close to Him and strengthen your faith as you stay in His Word and in fellowship with other believers. Keep trusting his unfailing grace, no matter what.
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