I never signed up, exactly, to become an author and to plant
a church at the same time, all the while mothering four kids and trying to be a
good wife. In fact, I’ve spent years judging others for having too many irons in
the fire (confession time!). Suddenly, I’m meeting publishing deadlines and
preparing sermons and hoping my kids have eaten breakfast.
Joyce Meyer says it’s almost become fashionable to be too
busy. If that’s true, I’ll dress for comfort, thank you very much. But these
days, it seems I have no choice.
Some of my friends have expressed envy—they’d love to have a
book coming out, a ministry pedestal and the like. It is to those friends I
must continue confessing the truth:
I envy you. I don’t
necessarily want to be making a book promo video right now. I love to speak—but
pastor? Be responsible, along with my
husband, for a congregation—not just one, but seven days a week?
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: my children are
my congregation. I want to be doing crafts with them around the dining table
and hearing about their latest “dream pets.” I want to be sleeping in and
snuggling with them under the covers, and reading books on a blanket in the
woods.
So much so, that I’ve written a book about it. About how I
want to be “just a mom.” And I’m passionate about that message, so I’ll need to
get out there and sell it.
Ironic, isn’t it?
Yet there’s this part of me that knows that if God asks you to
do something, you’d better do it. And that He’ll give you the strength—even the
heart—to embrace it joyfully. He’ll make sure you get your rest, keep your
health, don’t burn out, and don’t neglect your family. If you’re doing His will—nothing more, and nothing less.
Don’t get me wrong: I’m glued-to-the-ceiling excited about
starting a new church this Sunday, and signing books next spring. I feel ready
to pour out my soul in helping reach the neighborhood in Wellsburg (see
previous post), and my readers.
But much more than all that, I am wife to David Jonathan Bogdan
and mother to Anna, Sarah, Rebecca and Ruthie. This is where I’m happiest, most
fulfilled, and most content.
Besides, I am well aware that exactly seven people may be in
attendance next Sunday, and my book may end up in the $2 bin at Big Lots.
In any case, as I’ve asked before, will you pray for me? I
would so greatly appreciate it.
4 comments:
I love your blog--it's so open, transparent, and honest. Thanks for the reminder and validation that it's all right to be "just a mom," and that sometimes it's better not to fill our time to overflowing. I also don't think you have to worry about the book flopping, not with the reviews you've shared from "important people." Our prayers are with you!
Thank you, Amanda. <3
Memories came flooding in from the days when I was franticly juggling work and mothering. Thanks so much for this confession: "I’ve spent years judging others for having too many irons in the fire (confession time!)." In my case, people can judge away - I was a widow with small children and huge debts. Other's quick judgements are never as harsh as our judgements on ourself, however. You are so right about God; He will guide you through! You and your family are constantly in my prayers!
Michelle
Thank you so much for your prayers, Michele! And thanks for sharing your thoughts here. One thing I spend a lot of time on in my book is encouraging moms to look at the "why" behind all we busy ourselves with.
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