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Thursday, January 5, 2012

Coming out of My Funk



I've been in a bit of a funk. It was over silly stuff - people who don't read and/or google. People who don't come to visit me (which was everyone, I was convinced. They think I live a thousand miles out on the tundra, when in fact I live exactly five minutes from town, if I'm the one who's driving. Eight if it's Dave.) Of course I was ignoring the other reasons why I think "no one comes to visit:"


1. I don't ask them to. I'm afraid I'm not a good enough hostess and no one likes venison or beans (fear of rejection).

2. I need to be more organized and plan things. Not everyone can be as spontaneous as I like to be. (Fear of rejection when I call someone and say, "Can you drop everything and come for dinner in like, five minutes? Because I actually made a killer falafel with tahini and it'd be a shame not to share it. Don't worry about the ice on the hill, we'll tow you up.")

Oh, and I've been really gloomy over my lack of blogging inspiration. Why can't I be one of those daily, anecdotal bloggers and amuse people with every day stories of building fairy castles in the woods and my low housewiferly self-esteem due to the fact that I hate to bake and sew (mostly, though I think I could love it, if I didn't love writing 1,000 times more)?

Of course, I was ignoring the other reason I don't blog more than I do: No one will read it (Again, fear of rejection).

So. I was watching John Piper live at Passion last night and he said something about seeing and "savoring" Jesus. Savoring. I sat there and thought about that word. It had been too long since I'd savored Him. Oh, I'm a real good God-girl. I do my devotions (Christianese for Bible-reading and prayer). But when is the last time I sat there in the silence and savored His presence - even before I felt it? When is the last time I simply waited on Him (Christianese for - oh never mind. You get the picture.)?

It so happened that my Bible reading this morning led me to I Peter 2:2-3: "As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious."

Tasted - (Greek) "eat, partake, feel, experience."

Gracious - "good, pleasant, comfortable."

In other words, if I have ever "tasted"- experienced God as a feeling of indescribable peace, joy and love coming from someone outside of myself, then I should already know that there is more where that came from. All I have to do is open the book and read, and then sit and savor. Savor Him.

(And not necessarily in that order! Don't you de-churched people go getting all rhema versus logos on me.)

Anyway. I knew I was defunked this morning because I did something I do even less than bake or sew: I sat down at the piano and played this song for a while:

Oh taste, and see that the Lord is good


Oh taste, and see that the Lord is good


He has turned my mourning into dancing


Put off my rags and clothed me with gladness


And I will arise and I will praise you


I'll sing and not be silent


Oh Lord! My God! I will give thanks to you forever!...


I'll live only for you


I'll lift these hands up to you


I'll dance before you


I will shout it, I will shout it to you...













6 comments:

From Mary's Pen said...

My dear Sister-friend... I would come visit, if you didn't live out in the boonies... Or 100 miles away... LOL Well, maybe not quite a HUNDRED, but it's quite a jaunt for me. *sigh*
Thank you for the reminder. It's been too long for me, too. Chaos has a way of eating life up and leaving nothing but scraps, unless we save the best for Him right from the beginning.
May your words flow from an overflowing heart.

Rejoicing in the day,
-Mary

Rebecca Rouse said...

I love your wirtting - no matter how speratic and non scheduled it is! Thank you for sharing this - the song and the 'savoring' Jesus part. Its just what I needed to hear today. . and that I'm not the only one who doesn't post on a regular basis : )

Joan said...

Wish we were walking in your woods together today. Tristan is keeping me company while his mom works and Isadora keeps her company.

My nose is snuffy stuffy and my head feels heavy - so easily could have just slept away today - so just as well we are not in a germy together...not sick but then again not truly feeling "well".

Tristan and I assembled the wee work out trampoline (doesn't look so wee taking up large proportion of this comparatively small room's available floor space).

He had so much fun jumping, I soon had to try.

Now we both have worked off some of our trapped indoors anxieties (no car today, even though I own one). Tristan has pulled out his write on board and is happily working. The trampoline is doubling as a small club house.

Have spent the last few days on dream imagery a friend gave me -
Can happily work on it if it is straight imagery - not thrilled if it is truly a cryptograph which is the word that came to me.

Looking forward to community gathering for silent prayer tonight - tonight I just want to go and listen and have a quiet mind.

Cynthia said...

Thank you for blogging. I want to savor the presence of Jesus more. You are an encouragement to me.

gigimae101 said...

How bout some love coming to you from down here in williamsport!!

gigimae101 said...

here comes some love fresh from williamsport.. right to your heart!