Church Mutt

I once heard the darling Margaret Feinberg refer to herself as a “church mutt.” I can relate. My parents gave me a full range of church experience—dragging me off to “revival” meetings where I grew up in the south, and to conferences and vacation Bible schools  everywhere and any time the doors were open. As a result, I feel at home with any Bible-believing group of people. I am not denominationally pedigreed.

I am a church mutt.


I am part reformed. I can march to the sovereign, almighty tune of the Pied (John) Piper and sniff out faulty theology from a mile away. I like to chew on the pure Word. It’s the Gosssspel of Christ!

I am part emergent. I am a hip, organic, raw, authentic, poverty-fighting, justice-loving, earth-tending follower of Christ. Dude.

I am part Charismatic. I’ve tabernacled, harp-and-bowled, danced undignified, and traded my sorrows at the river and in the vineyard. I know about “soaking” at IHOP, and if “courtesy drops” count, I’ve been slain in the spirit twice.

I am part black gospel. I spent much of my childhood attending a mostly black Pentecostal church. I know how to get all dressed up, get all excited, go tell everybody that Jesus Christ is Lord. HalleLUjah!

I’m part independent.  I'm willing to raise the standard, be holy, walk uprightly, come out from among them, stay in fellowship, submit to leadership, be loyal and be sweet.

I'm part southern gospel. I like to talk, sang and thank about Heaven and fried chicken, not nec'arily in that order. Y'all pray for me now, ya hear?

I’m part denominational. I know how to tithe, fill out the card, recite the creed, sing the hymns (how I love the hymns!), read the bulletin, pray for the missionary, update the building and eat a harvest turkey dinner a week before Thanksgiving.  I like Jack Chick tracts, puppet evangelism and total immersion.

I’m part Quaker.  (Pause here for an hour of silence.)

I’m part Calvary Chapel. Verse by verse… We’ll get to the book of Revelation eventually, hopefully before Jesus’ return (which apparently is soon, if you ask my man Chuck.).

I’m part Catholic. I value suffering and caring of the poor. I love quietness and solitude, sacred places, reverence, stained glass windows, and big families with mannerly kids.

I’m part Messianic Jewish. I like to dance “like David danced” and pray for Israel. I almost passed out trying to blow a shofar once (I'm sticking to the tambourine.). I love a good leg of lamb roasted with fresh rosemary and garlic at Passover.

I’m part home-church. I’ve been Shack-ed and told He Loves Me.  I’ve been religiously de-toxed, de-institutionalized, de-systemized, de-programmed and de-organized, and I’ve gained twenty pounds on  pot luck dinners alone.

I am part word-faith. I might have a tiny (gulp) Osteen gene in my body somewhere. I am blessed. So blessed. So very, very blessed. I do confess.

I’m  even small part Seventh-Day Adventist; I like my veggies, whole grains and natural sugar substitutes. But don't take away my "sundae's" (wink).

I don’t agree with all that's represented by the aforementioned neighborhoods of Christ’s Church, but none-the-less, many members thereof are Heaven’s blood-bought future residents. Take a look at the following list of just a few of them. Before you make your celestial reservation, check to see if you would mind living next door to any of the following people for eternity (I must admit, I was disturbed by what feelings surfaced in my own heart as I typed some of these names.):

~Joyce Meyer~John MacArthur~John Bevere~T.D.Jakes~Beth Moore~Charles Stanley~Rick Warren~Rick Joyner~Mike Bickle~NT Wright~Cindy Jacobs~Luis Palaw~Bill Bright~Nancy Leigh DeMoss~Chuck Colson~Loren Cunningham~Heidi Baker~James MacDonald~Darlene Zcsech~Bill Johnson~Matt Chandler~Rod Parsley~David Wilkerson~Margaret Feinberg~Creflo Dollar~Chuck Smith~Peter Wagner~Paul Yonggi Cho~Bill Hybel~Ray Comfort~James Dobson~Francis Chan~....

"There is one body and one Spirit...one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all." --Eph. 4:4-6